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NightShift
Mindwalks, Poems, and Other Nonsense
14 February 2009 @ 06:50 am
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/02/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/02/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/02/200
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/02/200
07 January 2009 @ 11:04 am
In case you don't subscribe (or know how to) to my wp blog, here is a link to the most recent entry. :)
Thanks for reading, please comment by clicking on the number in the flower at the lower left of the post.
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
Thanks for reading, please comment by clicking on the number in the flower at the lower left of the post.
www.isengaurd.com/life-in-general/01/200
Current Location: the blessed home
12 December 2008 @ 09:22 am
20 August 2008 @ 10:54 am
My sisters livejournal inspires so many of my posts...
She wrote one the other day about how a devastating invasion of her privacy has paralyzed her pen. I feel so bad for her. Her journals are part of who she is, and a great deal of what makes my sister herself. She writes (I think) to get things off her chest, to express her innermost thoughts. They have never been written for others to read. Her journals are for her eyes only.
Me on the other hand. Why do I write? For me, if no one is going to read what i write, why bother? I write also to express my self and my deepest feelings. One of my greatest desires has always been to be understood. I don't see the world the way other people do, and I want to share this strange and unique point of view. Why do I not write? For the exact same reason. Fear of being misunderstood. I'm afraid that the way I word something won't correctly convey what I am trying to get across. I write poetry as well, and no one reads it the way I wrote it. No One. But that's the nature of that medium. So, I don't write, because I want you to read. But I think, it isn't the words that I want you to read. It's me.
She wrote one the other day about how a devastating invasion of her privacy has paralyzed her pen. I feel so bad for her. Her journals are part of who she is, and a great deal of what makes my sister herself. She writes (I think) to get things off her chest, to express her innermost thoughts. They have never been written for others to read. Her journals are for her eyes only.
Me on the other hand. Why do I write? For me, if no one is going to read what i write, why bother? I write also to express my self and my deepest feelings. One of my greatest desires has always been to be understood. I don't see the world the way other people do, and I want to share this strange and unique point of view. Why do I not write? For the exact same reason. Fear of being misunderstood. I'm afraid that the way I word something won't correctly convey what I am trying to get across. I write poetry as well, and no one reads it the way I wrote it. No One. But that's the nature of that medium. So, I don't write, because I want you to read. But I think, it isn't the words that I want you to read. It's me.
Current Location: My Sanctuary
Current Mood: 
contemplative
contemplative10 July 2008 @ 07:35 am
i'm seriously considering a hosted webspace for my family and online friends. i can post pictures and other stuff and host it from my own server. which would be really cool.
i wouldn't have to worry about space. and the bandwidth would be much greater than just my residential connection. only thing is, i can think of better things to spend the $7/mo on...
oh well, maybe one day...
i wouldn't have to worry about space. and the bandwidth would be much greater than just my residential connection. only thing is, i can think of better things to spend the $7/mo on...
oh well, maybe one day...
Current Location: desk
30 May 2008 @ 08:39 am
I thought this was kinda funny...
(@isengaurd) i'm tired and sunburned
(@isengaurd) been fixing breaks
(@isengaurd) *brakes
(@isengaurd) as in automotive
(+knight64) yea
(+knight64) i do that about 3 times a day
(+knight64) on avg
(@isengaurd) reeeeaaaallly
(+knight64) yea
(+knight64) mostly front
• @isengaurd takes out brainpicks
(@isengaurd) c'mere a sec...
(@isengaurd) i'm tired and sunburned
(@isengaurd) been fixing breaks
(@isengaurd) *brakes
(@isengaurd) as in automotive
(+knight64) yea
(+knight64) i do that about 3 times a day
(+knight64) on avg
(@isengaurd) reeeeaaaallly
(+knight64) yea
(+knight64) mostly front
• @isengaurd takes out brainpicks
(@isengaurd) c'mere a sec...
Current Location: oozing into bed
Current Mood: 
tired
tired29 May 2008 @ 01:36 am
worked on a friends car today after i slept till noon. of course this is after working till 7 am. Tired? who, me? uh huh.
anyway
have a lovely pink sunburn. not a bad one. just enuff to make me aware that there is NO melanin in my skin. and i do mean none, nada, etc...
not doing much for the sunsquint pale look i had going either...
and my nails look horrid!!! ugh!
anyway
have a lovely pink sunburn. not a bad one. just enuff to make me aware that there is NO melanin in my skin. and i do mean none, nada, etc...
not doing much for the sunsquint pale look i had going either...
and my nails look horrid!!! ugh!
23 May 2008 @ 08:14 am
Never ever give your children permission to do something, thinking that they are just kidding and would never do it.
Just take my word for it...
Just take my word for it...
Current Location: unsure
Current Mood: 
surprised
surprised22 May 2008 @ 11:09 pm
Return for deposit in raised relief on soft drink bottles. And I miss glass soft drink bottles. For some reason, a Coke just tastes better out of a glass bottle. Can't explain why, it just does. I love it when one of my boys brings me a Coke in one of the little 8 oz glass bottles. It brings back so many memories. The taste of summer in Florida and south Georgia. Blackbird calls and crickets. Walking up and down streets looking for bottles to turn in so we could get enough money to buy a Coke. That was the thing. If you put in the time, you could see an immediate return. Instant gratification. Turn in your bottles and put the change in the vending machine and POOF! Your very own reward. And if you found enough bottles for your coke, you kept looking so your friends would have enough too. Talk about incentive. And we learned about putting in the time to get the reward, plus, it kept the glass off the streets. I wish they would bring back "RETURN FOR DEPOSIT". The first reason I ever had to recycle, and so much more.
Current Location: work
22 May 2008 @ 06:33 pm
Move my shoe closet under my desk? All the shoes seem to have migrated there. 3 pair of work boots, 1 pair tennis shoes and 1 pair 2" mules. Hmmmm. Might have something to do with going straight to the computer when i get home from work....
Current Location: desk
Current Mood: late
04 May 2008 @ 06:18 pm
God,
(Silence)
Thank you for the rain
thank you for washing the dust off my jaded eyes
thank you for the lightning that reminds me of your power
thank you for the thunder that reminds me of your strength
thank you for the wind that reminds me of your presence
thank you for the storm that keeps me humble
thank you for puddles that bring me joy
thank you for the drops that kiss my cheeks with your loving forgiveness as they wash my soul clean
Lord, Thank you for the rain.
(Silence)
Thank you for the rain
thank you for washing the dust off my jaded eyes
thank you for the lightning that reminds me of your power
thank you for the thunder that reminds me of your strength
thank you for the wind that reminds me of your presence
thank you for the storm that keeps me humble
thank you for puddles that bring me joy
thank you for the drops that kiss my cheeks with your loving forgiveness as they wash my soul clean
Lord, Thank you for the rain.
Current Mood: 
peaceful
peaceful23 April 2008 @ 09:04 am
Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely
Or something turns out way better than you thought it would in the end.
Like when you have been invited to go somewhere. And you feel so honored to be invited, but it's really going to be a pain to get there, and you don't really have the money cuz your husband has an 800+ $ tuition bill, the house payment is due and your oldest son is going out of town, all within the same 3 days as the event? not to mention having to drive 5 hrs after working 12?
then the person that invited you asks you how set you are on going? Cuz they have similar financial jam ups? and your like "its really no prob at all, please don't feel bad" and then you tell them why?
thats what i call serendipity - we are all happily broke together!
Or something turns out way better than you thought it would in the end.
Like when you have been invited to go somewhere. And you feel so honored to be invited, but it's really going to be a pain to get there, and you don't really have the money cuz your husband has an 800+ $ tuition bill, the house payment is due and your oldest son is going out of town, all within the same 3 days as the event? not to mention having to drive 5 hrs after working 12?
then the person that invited you asks you how set you are on going? Cuz they have similar financial jam ups? and your like "its really no prob at all, please don't feel bad" and then you tell them why?
thats what i call serendipity - we are all happily broke together!
Current Location: desk
Current Mood: pleased
pleased31 March 2008 @ 12:55 pm
29 March 2008 @ 08:41 am
I did it. I finally broke down and put up a Myspace page. It pretty much tells everyone to get lost or come to LJ to read my journal. I got it so i could see my friends pages as many of them dont post anywhere else. now all i have to do is find a way to get LJ to auto post to the Myspace blog site...
08 March 2008 @ 04:34 pm
I love the energy and lyrics to this song! As for the eyes? He's gotta be singing about a Southern woman ;)
Paralyzer
by Finger Eleven
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far, has not been good
It’s been shitty
And I feel awkward, as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
We’ll, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
Paralyzer
by Finger Eleven
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far, has not been good
It’s been shitty
And I feel awkward, as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
We’ll, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
03 March 2008 @ 12:33 pm
I am a deeply religious person, although I don't discuss it much, esp in public. My faith is very personal; I believe the relationship between God and Man is more personal and private than the relationship between me and my spouse. But lately, my faith has taken me in a different direction, one that opens my relationship with God up to others, much like I share my relationship with my family with others.
I am a Christian, of the Episcopal denomenation. For a long time, I have wanted a Rosary. I didn't know how to use one or anything, I just thought that the idea of prayer beads for a meditation aid would be a good thing for me. I like attending church, but don't very often because of work and other things that really shouldn't matter. I am always praying and talking to God, esp giving thanks, because I feel like I have been very blessed. Perhaps the Rosary would help me in my devotions.
Well, I recently took my oldest son (and one of my first blessings) to take the SAT in the same city where my sister lives. She is also Episcopal and we went to church at the cathedral she goes to. They have a bookstore that sells Rosaries. What i found out is that there are Anglican Rosaries!! They are different from Roman Rosaries (number of beads and groupings). They are also used differently. Roman Rosaries usually are prayed using Ave Maria and the Lords Prayer. Anglican Rosaries can be prayed that way too, but other prayer groupings can be used as well. You are even encouraged to create your own prayer groupings according to your own needs. There is no set standard of prayers.
Each kind of bead reminds you of a prayer phrase, and how many times you go around the rosary is up to you.
A summary of the Anglican Rosary is
I purchased a book of Rosary prayers to help me with my meditations, in addition to putting my own prayers together using Bible scriptures.
I am a Christian, of the Episcopal denomenation. For a long time, I have wanted a Rosary. I didn't know how to use one or anything, I just thought that the idea of prayer beads for a meditation aid would be a good thing for me. I like attending church, but don't very often because of work and other things that really shouldn't matter. I am always praying and talking to God, esp giving thanks, because I feel like I have been very blessed. Perhaps the Rosary would help me in my devotions.
Well, I recently took my oldest son (and one of my first blessings) to take the SAT in the same city where my sister lives. She is also Episcopal and we went to church at the cathedral she goes to. They have a bookstore that sells Rosaries. What i found out is that there are Anglican Rosaries!! They are different from Roman Rosaries (number of beads and groupings). They are also used differently. Roman Rosaries usually are prayed using Ave Maria and the Lords Prayer. Anglican Rosaries can be prayed that way too, but other prayer groupings can be used as well. You are even encouraged to create your own prayer groupings according to your own needs. There is no set standard of prayers.
Each kind of bead reminds you of a prayer phrase, and how many times you go around the rosary is up to you.
A summary of the Anglican Rosary is
( Here )
I purchased a book of Rosary prayers to help me with my meditations, in addition to putting my own prayers together using Bible scriptures.
( My Prayer Set )
Current Location: home
Current Mood: serene
01 March 2008 @ 10:09 am
In the kitchen
Making Coffee
a little chilly
i'm cold natured...
his hand
the small of my back
so warm
on my cool skin
just in passing
a light touch
brushing my person
igniting my soul...
a silent explosion
in my chest
takes my breath
radiates to all of me
so much feeling
so light
so strong
so hard
so his.
Making Coffee
a little chilly
i'm cold natured...
his hand
the small of my back
so warm
on my cool skin
just in passing
a light touch
brushing my person
igniting my soul...
a silent explosion
in my chest
takes my breath
radiates to all of me
so much feeling
so light
so strong
so hard
so his.
Current Location: my sister's couch
Current Mood: 
calm
calmCurrent Music: weak and powerless - A Perfect Circle
10 February 2008 @ 05:20 pm
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? yes
2) What was your dream growing up? Become a psychiatrist
3) What talent do you wish you had? Music
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Single malt scotch, neat
5) Favorite vegetable? brocoli
6) What was the last book you read? Inca Gold, Clive Cussler
7) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. no/ears
9) Worst Habit? Procrastination
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Only because i know u
11) What is your favorite sport? Martial arts
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? Yes
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? We wouldn't notice, too busy laughing
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Miscarriage
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. love anime
16) Do you have any pets? yes
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? i'd hug u
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!) can u take it back and get a kitten mommie?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? neither
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? smaller jaw
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? depends on how much fun u were having
22) What color eyes do you have? brown
23) Ever been arrested? nope
24) Bottle or can soda? bottle
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? invest
27) What's your favorite place to hang at? my desk
28) Do you believe in ghosts? yes
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? computer stuff
30) Do you swear a lot? yes
31) Biggest pet peeve? dirty dishes
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? complex
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? yes
34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose? someplace warm and quiet with a view
35) Do you believe in God? yes
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? i guess :p
2) What was your dream growing up? Become a psychiatrist
3) What talent do you wish you had? Music
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Single malt scotch, neat
5) Favorite vegetable? brocoli
6) What was the last book you read? Inca Gold, Clive Cussler
7) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. no/ears
9) Worst Habit? Procrastination
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Only because i know u
11) What is your favorite sport? Martial arts
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? Yes
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? We wouldn't notice, too busy laughing
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Miscarriage
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. love anime
16) Do you have any pets? yes
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? i'd hug u
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!) can u take it back and get a kitten mommie?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? neither
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? smaller jaw
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? depends on how much fun u were having
22) What color eyes do you have? brown
23) Ever been arrested? nope
24) Bottle or can soda? bottle
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? invest
27) What's your favorite place to hang at? my desk
28) Do you believe in ghosts? yes
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? computer stuff
30) Do you swear a lot? yes
31) Biggest pet peeve? dirty dishes
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? complex
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? yes
34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose? someplace warm and quiet with a view
35) Do you believe in God? yes
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? i guess :p
08 February 2008 @ 10:26 pm
my rock
my foundation
my physical salvation
u hear me
hold me
save me
lay me
love me
honor and cherish me
God made us one
to be never undone
let no man
tear asunder
darkness falling
but you are calling
me back to sanity
reality
family
love
home
self
hope
my foundation
my physical salvation
u hear me
hold me
save me
lay me
love me
honor and cherish me
God made us one
to be never undone
let no man
tear asunder
darkness falling
but you are calling
me back to sanity
reality
family
love
home
self
hope